Purpose

I’ll try to write a now and then and treat this blog like some sort of digital connection to another dimension where alternate-reality me is taking notes on how to prevent or avoid certain trains of thought that lead to disaster… or just to write down the conclusions of thought/social experiments so his lazy ass doesn’t have to suffer through them himself.


 

Tenets:

Don’t not do something or not go through an experience just because it seems typical or generic of you to do. You’ve never experienced it yourself, and you really don’t know what you’re missing out on.

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This week in Shroggin Music

This is a post for the list of songs I’ve recently added to my “Game” playlist. I use the word “week” loosely, since some of these songs I’ve been playing constantly for the last twenty or so days.

This isn’t even a list of songs that are new or came out recently, just that I’ve discovered them recently.

Just trying to spread some sonic love. Click the titles to go to the Spotify playlist.

Game

Bottle Swervice – heRobust

  • heRobust sort of exploded onto my good Earth after a video of his Street (by NGHTMRE) remix was put on the /r/trap subreddit. I like to think of his sound as having an overloaded sub-bass counterbalanced with screeching synths that are as satisfying as finally getting that fuckin’ pop corn kernel out of your teeth.

 

Rage the Night Away (Flosstradamus Remix) – Steve Aoki, Waka Flocka Flames

  • I really don’t like Steve Aoki that much, but GOTDAM. The original is fantastic, but Flosstradamus’ version is a little bit more…trappy.

 

Out the Speakers – A-Track, Milo & Otis, Rich Kidz

  • Apparently Mountain Dew included this song in one of their commercials. I’m glad that trap music is getting a bit more mainstream (also check out Taco Bell’s use of Scylla by RL Grime).

 

Welcome to Planet Urf (Jauz Remix) – Jauz, League of Legends (I know super lame)

  • Don’t be fooled that because a video game commissioned a half-dubstep, half-deep house mud blood DJ to create a track inspired by a champion – who am I kidding? I’ll listen to anything Jauz puts up.

 

The Lawnmower – Aryay

  • I honestly don’t know that much about Aryay, but if he puts another f3kin’ bngR like this I’m swear I’d… definitely read his Wikipedia page.

 

Bap U (Not Sorry Remix) – Party Favor

  • Running out of things to say. Just listen.

 

 

Netflix and _____

R YOU OK – Aryay

 

Call Me – Myrne, SteLouse

 

Life in Grey – Point Point

 

Only For You (Estiva Remix) – Mat Zo, Rachel K Collier

 

With You (Jai Wolf Remix) – Dirty South, FMLYBND

 

Raise Your Weapon (Maywald Remix) – deadmaucinco

 

Weight in Gold – Gallant

 

Urban Flora EP – Alina Baraz, Galimatias (THE ENTIRE THING IS GOD LEVEL SENSUAL)

Fundamental Thoughts 3^30^16

+1 on how to experience things and other general events

I think that social media causes people to become jaded to life, in general. I hear very often from friends and peers my age (22-25) that they’re scared that their life isn’t unique or special enough. They see a bunch of their friends getting engaged, married, or even having a kid of facebook and it all seems so “generic.”

Examples:

Friend’s new puppy on Instagram

Super lit night at Hakkasan via Snapchat Story

@Ultra is fucking amazing omfg I love everything – Twitter

Seeing all these posts used to make me feel small, and I started to feel as if nothing in the world could really be exactly, specifically, and only mine. Like nothing could make me feel different. But then I realized that becoming jaded to something I’ve never experienced for myself is rather stupid and unintentional. Even if I see the 700 posts every weekend about friends at raves or hiking magnificent mountains or of their newborn child, it shouldn’t – and doesn’t anymore – make me feel like everything is overdone, because the easy and stupidly obvious truth is that I‘ve never felt what it’s like.

I suppose I’m arriving at this conclusion because I used to majorly hate on EDM raves. One might even say I used to Major League hate. I saw all these beautiful, young people and thought they were wasting their lives on hedonistic pleasures. I looked down on them because of something that T.I. (of all people) said. I still subscribe to this belief, but now only apply it to myself:

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In the endless torrent of fb pics and snapchat stories, I became disgusted, because I couldn’t think larger than myself. It just didn’t occur to me that maybe someone’s capacity for happiness doesn’t have a limit. I thought that if someone wasn’t where they would like to be, they should instead strive relentlessly to get to wherever that point is. But once you arrive, what are you? (Harder) Better? (Faster) Stronger? But will you be happier? Would you really have taken by the balls everything and anything that this realm has to offer? Afterall,

 

“We are such stuff

As dreams are made on, and our little life

Is rounded with a sleep.”

It doesn’t really matter if you get tired of seeing your friends’ wedding photos, because you don’t know what it’s like to get married. If you find it typical that one of your friends is having the time of their life at Ultra, maybe first consider if you’d be one to not share your excitement (hopefully in a non-look at how awesome my life is kind of way).

Instead, feel happy for people and feel happy for yourself that such things exist, that such levels of excitement are possible.

Tenet: Don’t not do something or not go through an experience just because it seems typical or generic of you to do. You’ve never experienced it yourself, and you really don’t know what you’re missing out on.

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^Shroggin Squad at Beyond Wonderland 2015. Man, look how fuckin’ happy I look. It’s almost disgusting.

2015

I “started” this blog back on December 31st, 2015 at about 11:50pm. I was lying in bed thinking about why the flurggin I wasn’t out at a club with a bottle on my lips, with friends, so that I could numb the bitterness of not having someone close to me. So, of course I did the next intuitive thing on my post-college, early yuppie mind and decided to give the whole online-catharsis thing a try.

But the way I’ve always written has been one of countless revision to get that perfect balance of syntax/style/diction/whatever. You know, like Hemingway. And that obviously led to my saying, “fuck it,” and closing the lid of my laptop at 2:02am on January 1st, 2016, having written all of 3 paragraphs.

I do still remember what I wanted to write about though. It was supposed to be a review of my year 2015.

I’ll do the dumbed down, unfiltered, and unedited-for-verbal-aesthetics version: first half was filled with frantic self-doubt of market value, because I was trying to find a job. The middle was internally a romantic augmented 4th chord, because I was beginning to the think that I really wasn’t a good match for my girlfriend, whom I had been so sure and fallen so deeply in love with; and the second half was filled with daily, barely held-back tears (the kind preteen girls write poetry about), because said girlfriend made the first move and broke up with me instead.

And through the awful, awful months that followed, I learned a lot about myself during nights where I felt like my innards were turning to stone. I say that not really in an attempt to be poetic, because that was the only way I could literally describe the physical sensation. Kind of like when I drink far too much whisky.

It’s weird. For a lot of college, I thought I was an introvert because sometimes I felt like I didn’t want to be around people. But I now realize it was just certain people, just the ones I wasn’t really comfortable around. Which is pretty how much most people are anyway (forget that whole “I’m an extroverted introvert” banaynay – is it so hard to just realize that we’re all on a spectrum?).

Now I’m pretty sure lean far on the side of being extroverted. I love it when I’m doing my own thing, but I hate doing it alone. For example, and you can ask any of my former roommates this, one of my favorite things to do when a bunch of people were over to hang out was to play some CS:GO, headset on and everything. I love to just read a book in my living room – as long as I’ve a friend or family member at the dining table or in the kitchen or just somewhere to give me the security of not being alone.

So with that being said, yeah… I’m pretty lonely living by myself.